Ni blog aku. Part mane kau tk phm?

Frustrating. I'm sorry for those who got hurt reading this.

2010-06-23T22:26:00.000-07:00

It's frustrating to be waking up every morning and knowing that it was all just a dream.

I hate all these dreams.

I dreamnt about all those time i woke up next to you in the morning and wish your good morning and put you back to sleep. All those times when you were washing up for the day, you would align your cute toothpaste straight against your brush so straight and proper. How I had to wait for you outside the toilet until you finish bathing or do other things and i would play with the clothes pegs and clip it on my face and wait till you come out and hoping it will make you laugh but instead you say "Gile" All those times when you turned off the lights in your room and i would freak out. All those time when you had to accompany me turn off the internet because your mum's room is just too dark. All those times when you would scare the shit out of me whenever I had to turn of the internet. All those times when we cook in the kitchen and you were the only one who was cooking because i was always in your way so i had to just sit on the counter top and play your PSP. All those days spent when we walk around causeway for HOURS looking for your itouch cover but eventually didn't get any. All those times after school when i had to use your clothes because you didn't want me to go home. All those taxi rides home and the driver would be staring at us and miss my car park. All those trips to town and I would be sleeping on your shoulders and drool. How you held my head up so that my head won't fall off your shoulders whenever i sleep on them. All those nights when i had my PMS and I cried and you comforted me. The day i cried because my phone got confiscated. The days I had to do for counselling due to my orientation because my teacher saw us making out. All those nights you complain about not having any food at home. All those saturday mornings when you wake me up at 8am because you had to go down and buy food for your family. The day your mother caught us on bed. The day your dad came home while we were in the middle of an argument. How you always scold me when i want to smoke. How you always hide the cigarettes away from me. How we spent most of the time EATING. and growing fat. All those time i helped you get over your ex girlfriend and the ex contact or something. Yeah, Everything is down the drain.

I missed you. Girl, you're the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Yet, You're the best :D <3

i hate that i still love you. But I have to move on.
But you have GOT to get out of my mind & dreams, Soon.

Perfect morning.

2010-06-23T21:32:00.000-07:00

The perfect morning .

I had to wake up and rush down to the bus stop to pick up something.
I went home, turn on my laptop and find a HUGE CRACK from the top right hand corner to the bottom left hand corner.
I got frustrated and threw my laptop to the ground.
Tried finding the stupid warranty card, which cannot be found.

But the most remarkable thing that happened is to wake up and know that i dreamnt about you again. Sigh.

50 Things to do.

2010-06-13T08:46:00.001-07:00

50 Things to do by the end of 2010
Written on 1 Jan 2010.

Those that i bold, means, i did already :D
Italic means half done :D

1. High five at least 5 strangers.
2. Sleep naked.
3. Pass maths.
4. Pass N levels (Minimum 16 points.)
5. Get in Cat fight.
6. Stop drinking.
7. Start praying.
8. Wear short dress to town.
9. Go commando to town (-.-")
10. Break with Em.
11. On the phone while bathing.
12. Get new shoes.
13. Wear tank top to town.
14. Wear heels to town.
15. New phone.
16. Cut extreme hair cuts. Eg, Mohawk.
17. Wear make up to town.
18. Be best friends back with Adib Erwin Lubis.
19. Get a BOYFRIEND.
20. Contact at least 2 girls.
21. Get a job.
22. 3Days 2 Nights with friends.
23. Not talk for at least 3 hours.
24. Get new journal.
25. Go on a holiday
26. Jet ski again.
27. Shopping overseas.
28. Get drunk somewhere.
29. Travel around with friends in car.
30. Apologize to mum.
31. Get coach wallet.
32. Remove Ayim's tattoo (Supposed to be em)
33. Check into hotel & Drink.
34. Day out with Ayim Buttbouy.
35. Get fake eyelashes.
36. Go out with shorts.
37. Get new haversack.
38. Make Lady gaga mask.
39. Get new laptop.
40. Drink 5 bottles of mineral water in a day.
41. New piercing.
42. Loose weight till 55 - 45
43. Sleep Kak Nora's house.
44. Go see dad's new house.
45. Introduce yourself as Sabrina to 5 different strangers.
46. Go sentosa with Cekak. -.-"
47. Skinny deep (-.-")
48. 100% attendance in school.
49. Kiss Nadia's cheeks.
50. Fall in love again

Rain and karate kid.

2010-06-13T03:52:00.001-07:00

The horrible downpour scared the shit out of me just know. Imagine sitting in a car, Just minding your own business looking out a window and suddenly see palm leaves start FLYING around. Back, front and sides. One even hit the side of our car. My dad manage to swerve in time. Thank god for that. One landed right in front of our car. Fortunately, dad manage to brake in time. At this points in life, I do appreciate god :D

I got a new ALL TIME favorite movie. Have I told you guys that this movie is freaking awesome? Go watch it ! :D

Dreams.

2010-06-12T04:14:00.000-07:00

Weird dreams are just plain, senseless.
It clearly makes no sense. Hmmmm.
Anyways, In that dream, I was back with you. YES, you !

It's weird because i was just looking at you. Just watching you smile again,
Sleep like a pig and all. It was a fun dream.
But i was glad i woke up. HAHA ! :D

Anywho.. To those out there who would like to know who i dreamnt,
Dream on. I won't tell you. :D

Cheerios.

Fuck you.

2010-06-11T03:29:00.000-07:00

Fuck you. Just, fuck you.
These two words when combined together can mean a lot.

Like, FUCK YOU and yes.. FUCK YOU. :D

I'm probably going to kill someone if shit doesn't end soon.
I SWEAR on my life if you don't stop bullshitting, I'll be your WORST nightmare.
So what if we're blood? It's just blood.

Fuck your blood running through my veins.
Fuck your bullshit crap i have to deal with.
Fuck your face that i have to see everyday.
Fuck all those lectures you gave.
Fuck all those bitchy looks you gave me.
Fuck all those days you made me happy
Fuck all those nights you make me cry.
Fuck you.
JUST, FUCK YOURSELF.
HOPE THAT SICKNESS YOU HAVE CAN LAND YOU STRAIGHT TO HELL.

It's amazing how much i hate you.
It's miraculous how much i went through.

And last but not least, Fuck that 20minutes.
FUCKKKKKKKKKKK.

New pictures

2010-06-10T08:31:00.001-07:00

Enjoy jerking off.

Self potraits.

2010-06-10T04:31:00.000-07:00

Despite all the things you said,
You allowed me to drop dead.

In short,
Fuck you.

Smash ! There goes your heart. Oops.

2010-06-10T04:13:00.000-07:00

Some words are meant to be left unspoken.
Some actions are meant to be left unseen.
Some feelings are meant to be left unexpressed.

Everything happens for a reason.
Its either it's a good reason or not.

I have this problem,
Maria has a new partner named Mel.
Mel occasionally irritated Maria.
The thought of Mel frustrates Maria.
But Maria still enjoys Mel's company at times.
Maria wants to loose Mel.
But Maria knows that she will be making the worst mistake in her life.
What should Maria do?
What would Mel react?
I wonder .. I wonder ..

Anyways, That is up to Maria.
I don't want to get involved.
But Maria keeps pestering me.
Sorry Maria. Hehe..

Back to main topic : Me.
Urmm. Boredom as always.
Home is continuing to be worst.
Life is just a huge downpour.
I sometimes wonder to myself, I used to HAVE A LIFE.
What happened Fa? Hmmm.

Hope i can get back on track and continue loving life like i used to.
Hmmpft.

Cheerios !

Okay

2010-06-08T08:29:00.000-07:00

It's amazing how you care about me
It's incredible how you worship me
It's shocking how much you sacrificed for me.
It's surprising how you much you love me.

It's extraordinary that i don't feel the same way.
Sorry.
Now, for YOU. I don't think I'm ready for anything serious.

I'm tired of mindless people.
I'm shagged listening to senseless humans
I'm fatigue looking at absurd pigs
Watch your mouth young lady,
You might not like what's coming.

Trying..

2010-06-07T03:03:00.000-07:00

I'm still trying my best to change my O----------
But I'm sorry if it doesn't work.
Because I think I am born to love a certain species.
No matter what, Remember that i am not using you. Thanks.

bestfriend.

2010-06-03T05:49:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine once told me
That you're everything i see.
We fought, we argued, we died.
We laughed, we teared, we cried.

You brighten up my day
You showed me the right way
Friend, you're the best.
You're always there when i make a mess.

Every night before i go to bed.
I think of those words that you said.
You have somebody and i do too
But its amazing how i love you

we're just friends, i accept that
It took time to accept that fact.
It has been years
You wiped away all my fears.

fup

2010-05-02T09:10:00.000-07:00

obviously some of you guys out there knows what fup means. It means fucked up parents. For me, i do have the fup. Fups are just annoying. I swear. :) thats all. Thanks for ruining my everyday life fup. You guys are the worst. :)

Torture.

2010-04-24T07:16:00.000-07:00

You know the feeling of being all battered up, bruised, crushed, scarred?

I feel so, back stabbed, betrayed, abandoned. But why? Just because of someone for someone?

&

I Feel so shagged, exhausted, fatigue, tired. Have been totally scheduled-packed.

Now for someone, have that someone. Those words you told me, is useless. Have fun :D
(Stop being so Contradicting Someone)

Beautiful, Pretty, Nice, Ugly, Horrible.

2010-03-17T04:34:00.000-07:00

Fa + Ugly = Fugly :D

Illustrations I made recently.

Birthday coming up. 26th march.

Happy advanced Birthday to Syidah, Fhat, Fauzee, Raycia, Kairul Zakirin. These are all the March babies.

Problems.

2010-03-01T03:18:00.000-08:00

For all those readers out there. Approximately 98% of you know that i am having family problems at home. But thank you for not bringing it up to my face. I've always loved the excitement in school and out. Mind my Stinking words if i was too harsh on some of you. But that is just the way i work things. I let out my anger to all those who are innocent. To all those who don't know a thing about what i am going through. I love my friends, i love my Girlfriend and i love my sister. But things with this family members bullshit have got to stop. I keep thinking to myself, why did i grow up in such situations? Why cant i grow up with a silver spoon in my mouth or loving parents? Its sucks to know that right now, i do not have a way out. The only way out, is in . anyways, you guys will eventually get bored about this family thing. But i love all you guys that brightened my life. You guys have been the greatest . (:

Baby, Thank you for being there for me . I love you.

Morning.

2010-02-14T18:42:00.000-08:00

Webcam-Whoring

Good Morning my beautiful readers. I hope the bright fantastic sun woke you up on this awesome Monday. I hope no one out there is experiencing Monday blues.
Its 10:45 Now and i just woke up. Baby woke me up by leaving me a miss call all the way from Melaka. A beautiful place known for its Asam Pedas. :D

Anyways, I just want to say 'Good Morning' and I am so fucking bored right now, i am studying Sign fucking Language ! :D

Okay, Stomach's grumbling now. Gonna have my breakfast. Goodbye.

CNY & Valentines Day.

2010-02-14T05:23:00.001-08:00

Credits to HumanJerky AKA Baby Bushuk.

Okay, i think this is not fair. CNY falls on the same day as Valentines.
On CNY, most of the shops are closed,
What if there is someone out there who's looking for an emergency Valentines gift for their partner?
And all the shops are closed and there is no time to get back and make a card or something.
Oh dear god, i pity them. :D
On the other hand, I love it when i have to walk all the way to the MRT station.
Because the shops are closed and i was craving for chocolate fondue.
Especially when the whether is scorching hot and i tend to perspire.
You know, the feeling of sticky-ness at every inch of your body.
Makes you just wanna go back and take a loooong shower.(A total sarcasm, If anybody out there thought i really enjoy this then ... A six-letter word starts with S Ends with D )

Other than my stupid trip to 7 eleven, my Fondue was fucking awesome.

Although i only had it with apple. :D

Credits to HumanJerky AKA BabyBushuk
Baby is at KL. Sucks, Valentines alone. But its okay :D
My youtube and online games kept me company through the lonely day,
Will you be cranky if you put your heart in doing that something then you accidentally deleted it?

Oh yes ! i did an illustration of my face, WHICH I THINK WAS FANTASTIC.. Then i accidentally deleted :D Thanks...

I miss my babyyyyy.. Damn muchhh !!!
baby, come home soon. Please :(

Love, Fa.

140209 - Happy Valentines Day !
060209 - Happy 18th Monthsary Baby !

Syidaa and EmBaby.

2010-01-20T23:56:00.000-08:00

Syidah have been like, the awesome-est these few days.. Since december holidays, all my fun times in school, thanks to her .

To the other girl, I dont care whatever you are feeling. Its not only your feelings that we always have to satisfy. -.-"

Anyways.. me and syidah have been laughing our ass out during English.. Oh wait, Prolly almost EVERY period. We kind of got annoyed at some parts of the day, But it was still as awesome as fuck . hahah .
I love you syidah baby .

Em baby sayang, Thank you for everything.
We've gone through so much .

Both my babies are now beside me at starbucks . Playing laptops. I ordered my all-time favourite..
JavaChipFrappe. :D

Awesome.. Favourite drink, favourite friend, favourite girl, favourite jeans, awesome mum, gorgeous sister . How great can my life be right now !

Chooows.

Standing tall.

2009-12-27T10:02:00.000-08:00

Me sitting here listening to you talking about her.
Me sitting here listening to you talking about my slutty past.
Me sitting here listening to you insult me.
Me sitting here listening to you stating out my EVERY flaw.
Me sitting here listening to you brag about yourself.
Me sitting here smiling at whatever bullshit you are throwing at me.
Me sitting here trying to calm myself down.
Me sitting here sucking up on my own tears.
Me sitting here biting on my lips hoping things will stop.
Me sitting here standing up to the temptation of hitting myself.

Inch by inch, you break my heart.
Slowly, you kill me.

Thank you for murder.
I will always love you although you killed me. (:

Judge me.

2009-12-16T12:11:00.000-08:00

I hate people who come up to me and ask me "What triggers you to be like this? Why are you this bad now? Malay translation: Asal kau semaken terok?"

It angers me, No No, It pains me to answer that question. Because my past, My background. My everything is just as bad. If you were me, you would have also turned out to be like me. For your information. I do know when to study, time to chill. Hanging out is fun but studies is also important.

I know you're going to turn back at me and tell me that my studies is not that good anyways, so why the fuck should i even care to even mention the word 'studies' right? Well yeah i know. My studies sucks and thank god its improving. Because I'm telling you.. Things won't end up this way if i didn't had a major break up with my previous one and a half years girlfriend. Oh yes, for all you out there that still dont know me. I am gay, and standing proud for the gay community.

Call me Homosexual, Slut, Whore or a Backstabbing bitch.. All i care now is my happiness and Of course, my soon-to-be broken family. All i am really depending on for family is now my sister. And i hope i don't let her feel the slightest upset in me. I love my sister. With all my heart.

I thank god for this life i am having right now. Thank you Allah.

Promoted.

2009-10-30T05:03:00.001-07:00

Btw, I am promoted to Secondary Four NA next year with no re-tests. haha (:

hello ;D

2009-09-17T06:39:00.000-07:00

Well hello, has been ages eh by the way i never update.

So here i go...
Have been drinking for the past few days.. Beers..
Wow, bulan puase. hahaha. ;D
Anyways, I've been really rapat with Dinah In school. She's awsome.
You know, dinah and gang, love ya. Hahaha. Fine, mepek.
Adib also, he has been the best best friend. (:
In class, the two monyets that always layan me is Stupid Villip Koo, Ahmad fazly and muhammad naqib . Haha!
We always laugh in class. we have loads of fun. ;)
Suziana Ho eh ? Im not sure, not really rapat since she is close to aishah all. Not sure why.
Anyways, School have been great. Enjoy eating during fasting month at school canteen. ;D

And to Budak2 110. Korang kaki gerek. Haha.. ;D I hang out there mostly everyday after school. With my baby sayang, Dearest sister, Farah, Fiza, Atam, Tadpole, Eddy, Danish. Kdng2 Ahmad. Duh, Wak -.-"

baby have been awesome to me. We are doing well. Here and there, but overall, fine. Truly, i do love her, so much. ;D
I love you baby boo ;)

Walk away.

2009-08-19T03:50:00.000-07:00

Have you ever loved someone so much that you are willing to sacrifice your own life for?
You know they are your heart. And you know you are the barrier. You will destroy anything that comes if anything harms them? But what if this is karma? Is this really karma?
For what i did to all those. All those mistakes i did in the past, Is it coming down crashing on me?
Oh god, Is totally not here to save me.

Them:
You always say why i cant be good and stuff. When i do something good, Do you support? Or you choose not to support? But whenever i do something bad, You guys talk as if you guys were there for me, ALWAYS. You want me to be like my other two sibling right? Angels in your eyes, Always the one that makes you smile. Always the one that you come home and look forward to see everyday?

I'm sorry, this is me.

I am not a bad person and i know it. I have a good heart and nicer Brains. Like, i am mature. But you say that i am not mature enough? Okay, fine.
Your choice.

Send me away and don't hope that i would want to call you my Whatever. You are like, my housemates and unfortunately, i have no where to go. Cause im studying and bla bla.

Fuck it, im out.

Ohyes,FarahHaniHere.

2009-08-17T04:23:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah,
Im here (:
And bored. haha.

Nothing much really.
Broke up with em like, 4 days ago, patch back yest.
Happy 1st year. and yeah, MFT MFT MFT.
Dah. haha.

Oh yes, family perangai. Fullstop. :D

Happy Birthday Singapore.

2009-08-09T05:09:00.000-07:00

Apologies to all those who ajak me go Fireworks today (:

Cant miss my singapore Idol (:

First Of all, Happy 44th birthday Singapore. You have been the Greatest.

Although your crappy Laws and endless fines are killing us, We still Love you (:

Oh Yes, I know 'Zaman Lame' But.. I'm craving for Pastry shoes by Angela and Vanessa Simpsons from the show "Daddy's Girls" . Oh yes, Arent they just.. Gorgeous?

Well, Whoever out there is feeling waaay too kind towards me one day and just thought that you wanns get for me something or what, You have my number ! (:

Glam Pie Hi - Black berry

Glam Pie Hi - Plum

Black Magic Glam Pie

And.. Not forgetting, Adidas sweater/ Jacket. Have been craving for.

Anything Pink or black .

Womens's Predator Hooded Jacket (:

uuuh Yeaah. Hahahha.

Okay guys, i promise to update more often now and I promise to upload more images of me, My friends and Of course, my baby (:

DINAH ! Cepat upload gambar Cross country !

Cross country- Was AWESOME eh by the way. Eina, Afiqah, aishah, Hajar and so on.. Was awesome. And of course Eina.. For making music with me ! Hahaha. It was hilarious. I ended up sweating like hell ! Haha.

Okay oky, My singapore idol is here!

Toodles !

Leaving wounds.

2009-07-30T01:49:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have been really down.
There is always a reason to every human's cries.
bittersweet memories you just cant erase off.
Horrific feelings that just cant seem to fade away.
Atrocious tears you let out alone at night hoping that things will be better Once the sun starts to shine again.
Frightful moments that have taken you away for reality.

Half-Sighs.

Half empty

2009-07-30T01:19:00.000-07:00

darkness comes again,
and as the last candle melts its wax,
with every breath shallower in the night,
there is nothing left for me to do but,
wait in muted stillness…

I seek for love.

Dreams.

2009-07-25T19:12:00.000-07:00

So, Lately i have been having strange dreams and the weird part is, I keep dreaming about the same dream every night just that day by day, It gets further.

I was at a very desereted area with nothing around me, So i ran as fast as i could without even a since glance back . And so i saw this extremely huge school. And i went in, There was a group of students on stage dancing. Everybody looking so serious. and so i joined them on stage and the minute i stepped on the stage everybody stopped and stared at me.
Me at one corner, Just standing there with nothing on me and in fear.
Suddenly there was a little girl who came out from behind the curtains and pulled me screaming ask me to come with her.
So she opened this drain which had a starnge symbol that i can still recall in my head, she told me to go down. But everytime i wanted to go down, my head gets stuck at the the top of the hole and i was bled. Purfusely while i felt that she was screaming "He was the one who created this, You must come with me" .
That was the end

I dont know whether i will get through the hole tonight. I hope so (:

These kinds of dreams makes me think of whether i should go or i should climb up back and out of the school and search for other ways to survive. Will tthe students come for me? What is beneath that cold drain? What could be next ? What if she is the bad person? Hmm.

Nvm, Scary dreams = Stupid dreams (:

Hi !

2009-07-25T03:54:00.000-07:00

So hi, It has been the longest time since i last posted. Its okay, I'll try to update whenever i can la ok? (:

So yeah, Baby is away now, She's in Bangkok until Monday . Please come home soon baby . I didnt even get to meet you yesterday cause i had some family problems at home, i didnt even go school ): Sighs..

Anyways, School is doing great and stuff.. I think im beginning to improve my studies, Well, in MY opinion i guess. Well yeah, i love dinah, aishah , afiqah and so on. Not so close to Fhat, Syidah all now. Im not sure why . Maybe the Drama-s all . Anyways, Doesnt matter .

Most of the time i'll be with Dinah all if not Suzi or Adib, Naqib all . having LOADS of fun in school lately . Oh gosh, Such a sad thing that i missed the Racial Harmony Day dress up thing . Just sad .. Sighs. Anyways .

Life at home has been, Complicated and miserable and Hell actually . My mum actually said that everybody's life at home will be so much happier without me . Without me, She's free. Hah, Thanks for reggretting giving birth to me. I sure will go up your vagina again and hope that god will take my soul away. Cause seriously, Syurga di tapak kaki ibu . Correct ? So what if my mother Dont want me anymore. Like, literally dont want tau . How? SHould i just go ? Or should i just stay and deal with the hate at home.

Seriously, The only love i feel is from my sister. Who is out right now. But who cares. I still love you sis. Despite the arguments and stuff, We still do get along. I know sometimes you do things for my own good. And i thank you for that . I really thank you (: Love you, My one and only Blood sister, Nadia hani . :D

Baby Sayang, Come home soon please, i miss your company, you lying down beside me with your warm arms tightly holding on to me and telling me you will not let go. your warm breath under my neck causing goosebumps, Gosh, i miss that . I miss your morning smell and your Smelly little pillow (: I miss your smile and oh god, your laughter. Your dimples, your eyes, your hands. Your everything. I really really miss you. Baby, i know we argue, ALOT lately but i do not regret every arguments because after every fight you will give in to me and that shows me that you do still love me and care for me . You do still want to spend time with me and Care for me. I do really love you and i promise you that i wont let go of you despite anything that happens, i will always love you, Em. Always.

Dinah's entry.

2009-07-11T20:35:00.000-07:00

I saw this in Dinah's Entry..
And i thought, What the hell, i wana do this, Looks fun (:

1.Em Baby !
2.Dinah Aqilah !
3.Aishah !
4.Haq !
5.Adib Erwin !
6.Kai !
7.Nadia (My sis) !
8.Liyana (Em) !
9.Aishah (Em) !
10.Halim !
11.Aidah !
12.Hakim !
13.Farhan (Em)
14.Fauzan !

How did you get to meet 7 ? [Nadia (Sister)]
From my mother i guess !(:

(:What would you do if you and 13 never met? [Farhan (Em)]
I think my lepak life will be boring. haha (:

What if 1 & 12 went our for a date ? [ Em&Hakim]
Oh great, My girlfriend and my gay bestfriend ! Haha.

Have you ever seen 14 cry? [Fauzan]
I dont know. I dont think so. Aww, it will be such a sad sad day :( !

Would 4 and 11 be a good couple? [Haq&Aidah]
No. Not at all (:

Do you think 11 is attractive? [ Aidah ]
Yeah, excluding her minah rep side -.-"

What's 2's favourite colour? [ Dinah ! ]
Pfft. Purple, Duuh. haha.

When was the last time you talked to 9? [Aishah (Em)]
Hmm. I dont know. last week?

What language does 8 speak? [Liyana (Em)]
Language of Crazy (:

Who is 13 going out with? [ Farhan (Em) ]
I dont know actually. i think No One

What grade is 12 in? [ Hakim]
I think he is ITE? Or something. I dont know.

Would you ever date with 10? [Halim]
Haha, No. He's one of my best friend(:

Where does 5 live? [ Adib ]
143, Near school (:

What's the best thing about 3? [ Aishah !]
She's fun, damn fun to be exact. (:

What would you want to tell 10 now? [ Halim ]
Oh god, i miss you ! :(

Whats the best thing about 8? [Liyana (Em)]
haha, She's also fun ! Crazy Crazy Crazy !

Have you ever kissed 5? [ Adib Erwin ! ]
Hell No! Haha.

What was the best memory you have with 7? [nadia (My sis)]
I dont know, The nights we talked and laughed. Lepak-lepak. Best (:

When's the last time you're going to see 6? [Kai]
2 days Back , in School.

How is 14 and 12 different? [ Hakim& Fauzan.]
One short and One tall? hehe.

Is 6 pretty? [ Kai. ]
Oh, He is beautiful . haha.

How did you meet 5? [ Adib Erwin.]
Sec one, Same class. Hehe.

Is 1 your best friend? [ Em ]
She's my Best Friend, My Girlfriend and My Boyfriend (:

Do you hate 12? [ Hakim ]
Of Course not, He's nice (:

Have you seen 4 on the last month? [ Haq ]
Yes, i think so. If not, it'll just be another black figure at the back of the class(:

When was the last time you talked to 3 ? [ Aishah]
2 days back. But i tagged her blogg a few minutes ago (:

Have you been to 5's house? [ Adib Erwin ]
Oh yes, (:

When's the next time you gonna see 10? [ Halim]
I dont know, prolly a long time .

Are you close to 13? [ Farhan(Em) ]

Have you ever been to a movie with 4 before? [ Haq ]
I dont know. I dont think so (:

Have you ever gotten into trouble with 8? [ Liyana (Em)]
Nope. We are good people(:

Would you give 2 a hug? [ Dinah ! ]
Yeah, Yeah ! Hug Tight Tight, Like teddy Bear (:

When have you lied to 3? [Aishah]
Never actually. Haha. Oh ya ! Maybe in sec one or two. Recently, no.

Is 1 good with socializing? [ Em]
Depends Who ah, My baby (:

Do you know secrets about 9? [ Aishah (Em)]
Hmm. Maybe not.

Describe the relationship between 12 and 14. [ Fauzan & Hakim ]
Friends (:

Best thing about your friendship with 9? [Aishah (Em)
We Laugh, We talk, We Drink, We smoke. Da(:

What's the worst thing about 6? [kai]
His Irritatingness (: But i love you babe !

Have you ever had a crush on 12? [ Hakim ]
Haha, No actually. We're too good as friends anyways(:

Does 14 has a girlfriend or boyfriend? [ Fauzan ]
Hmm. I dont know. I dont think so. I Dont even know whether its boyfriend or girlfriend (:

Have you ever wanted to punch 1's face? [ Em ]
Haha ! Yes Baby, I do want to punch Your face (:

Has 2 met your mother? [ Dinah ]
Hmm. I dont know actually. i dont think so(:

How did you get to meet 3? [Aishah]
Goodness, She was in my Sec one Class, And she is Crazy ! (:

Did you ever physically hurt 3? [ Aishah ]
I dont think so (: If i did, Im sorry !

Do you live close to 7? [ Nadia (My sis) ]
I Wouldnt Say too close ! -.-"

What's 8's favourite food? [ Liyana (Em) ]
Nasi Lemak in the morning? Haha.

What kind of car does 1 has? [ Em Baby ! ]
Hmm. Porche (: Dream on Baby, Dream On.. (:

Have you travelled anywhere with 9 before? [ Aishah(Em) ]
Hmm. No.

If you give 14 $100 , what will he/she spend it on? [ My mother]
I dont know, Camera Assesories? Haha.

The end.

School Nowadays Have been AWESOME !

thanks to my classmates Expecially Dinah, Aishah and Afiqah,

thank you, Thank you, Thank you.

And Em Baby syg, I never loved you less.

-Going 11 Months, Yey !

- Next month, A year ! Yey !

I love you so much Em baby Syg (:

School.

2009-07-09T06:05:00.000-07:00

Oh gosh, School was fucking awesome la siak.
I have never in my life laughed out loud that way before. Its like, wow !
Thanks to my dearest friends, classmates, to be precise.
Well, the day started off when tay did not come ! Fucking hell, me and fhat actually changed our P.E attire. Stupid Stupid us! (:
I did my sudoku in the straits time and did some reading. So then, i got bored, picked up a chair and moved to the back of the class (:
So me, Aishah, Dinah, Afiqah, Kila and Ain started talking and it wa going great.. And we started some giggles here and there. So yeah, after that was Recess.
Had my mee bandung with Faz, fiq, dinah, baby, ama, aishah, hafizah and so on... Had lots of fun talking and Roy actually made me "close to puke" Siak.
She spit on Faz's mee. and it was DAMN GROSS OKAY !
Anyways, Bla bla bla..

The best part :
I had the BEST TIME during assembly. 'Free period' to be exact.
I was literally at the top of my lungs laughing. I swear i could die from laughing too hard. It was chaos.
It was LOTS of fun actually.
Dinah melatar and her non-stop 'You are not alone, and i am here with you' MJ Song.
And i will always continue ' I think about it every night and day, spread my wings and fly away' R kelly (:
Did some silly jokes, Had LOTS of fun making fun of kumar "YOU ARE NOT ALONE" haha.

Ayim, Apan, kai and SONG LEE -.-" . Did some punching or whatsoever crap and oh god ayim, you need some work ! hahaha.
And oh yes, not forgetting the "Butt-pinching" incident. Aishah pinched my ass and i literally melatar and made a duck body shape. I dont know how to describe. Haha. It was, fantastic.
It was just incredible, i never thought i could laugh that hard. And loud and actually. I went "To the top" When Kai gave dinah a shock and she was so SHOCKED that she did some hand movements. Oh god,
It was so remarkable. (:
It was so fantastic. Oh god.
I am literally laughing by myself .

Oh god, and my sister is being a pain in the ARSE. (:
Love ya. :D

Okay guys. I go first. bye

family.

2009-07-01T22:11:00.000-07:00

Fucking hell, im going to leave this house. Now. Cause you know what ? I cannot stand everything that is happening . Like, EVERYTHING ! my fucking dad is fucking leaving from this fucking house. How the fuck am i suppose to stand this nonsense. Fuck this shit.
My father is on the phone with Em Right now, Screaming outside. What the fuck siak . I fucking hate my fucking father. Just get the fuck out saiful. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. Fucking hell ! Get the fuck out la siak ! Nabei chow fucking chibye . I hate this fucking house . Im leaving . Hell...
Try to even contact me and i swear on my life that i will bash your fucking in through your fucking wall and i will make sure your blood splatter on my fucking body cause you guys dont mean shit to me. ARRRGGHH

My baby's got talent.

2009-06-09T07:26:00.001-07:00

Hey ! Check this out ! My baby's got talent ! She did this.

Oh yes, EM MARGERA BABY ! Not em margerine. HAHAHA (:

Love you baby (:

2009-06-09T00:48:00.000-07:00

Hey !
This is my first failed attempt On illustration.
I know i know, It sucks.. But yeh, I'll keep on trying.

Baby is at hospital Now, So im stuck at home . pfft. i got some things to do at home later On.. But, Later la..

So yeah, So far my life has been going like a fucing roller fucking coaster. But yes, i enjoyed it.
Nothing much to say actually..
Oh yes, for those out there wondering ' WHY CANT I UPDATE MY BLOG???'
Well, the reason is because, im too lazy ! Hahahhaa ;)
So yeah.

Bye.

New hair (:

2009-06-06T20:38:00.000-07:00

Digg the New Hair Byotch !

I saw this on Faz's blogg. and i thought i want to do it.

THE 100 QUESTION QUIZ....

001:Real name-Farah Hani.

002:Nickname(s)-Fa, fah, farah.

003. Star sign - Aries.

004. Male or female - Fem! (:

005. Elementary - PAP

006. Middle School - Marsiling Primary School.

007. High School - Marsiling secondary.

008. Hair color - Dark brown

009. Long or short hair- Short !

010. Loud or Quiet - Loud!

011. Sweats or Jeans - Jeans

012. Phone or Camera - Hmm. I'll go with Phone.

013. Fruits or fried foods- Fried foods, Baby !

014. Drink or Smoke? - Both!

015. Do you have a crush on someone? - Oh yes, My dearest Baby Em. (:

016. Eat or Drink - Eat.

017. Piercings - Used to have on My tongue and Trigger. On my earlobes, Obviously.

018. Tattoos - No.. Thought Of it.. Then No.. (:

019. Been in an airplane - Yes, To alot of places.

020. Been in a relationship - Am in it Like, Right now !

021. Been in a car accident - No. Hoping, Never.

022. Been in a first fight - Yes, Of course.

FIRSTS:

023. First piercing - When i was a kid, My earlobes .
024. First best friend - Oh shoot !

025. First award - I think its in Marsiling primary, For athletics.

026. First crush - Oh God, When i was in K2. Ridwan or Something . Haha!

027. First fashion sense - Slack, Has always been Relaxed.

028. First vacation - Oh shoot, Gotta go ask my mum.

LASTS:

029. Last person you talked to - Baby Love
030. Last person you texted - Baby Em

031. Last person(s) you watched a movie with - Baby Em.

032. Last food you ate - Chicken Nuggets.
033. Last movie you watched - Angels and Demons.

034. Last song you listened to - Data-Nyayian Rindu Buat Kekasih

035. Last thing you bought - Big Gulp!

036. Last person you hugged- Baby Love(:

037. Food - Fast Food, Burger (:

038. Drinks - Chrysanthemum Tea, Green Tea..

039. Clothing - Polo Tee and Light Blue Tight jeans and Sneakers.

040. Books - Something that can actually Keep me awake.

041. Musics - I guess Its, Beyonce- halo. Keri Hilson - knock you down.

042. Flower - Red Rose. (:

043. Colours - Red, Brown, White.

044. Movies - Currently, Angels and Demons.

045. Positions - Top. Haha (:

IN 2008..... I

047. [ ] Kissed in the snow

048. [] celebrated Halloween

049. [x] had your heart broken

050. [x] went over the minutes on your cell phone

051. [x] someone questioned your sexual orientation

052. [x] came out of the closet

053. [] gotten pregnant

054. [] had an abortion

055. [x] done something you've regretted

056. [x] broke a promise

057. [x] hid a secret

058. [x] pretended to be happy

059. [x] met someone who changed your life

060. [x] pretended to be sick

061. [x] left the country

062. [x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it

063. [x] cried over the silliest thing

064. [] ran a mile

065. []went to the beach with your best friend(s)
066. [] stayed single the whole year

CURRENTLY:

067. Eating - Suprisingly, Nothing. I just had My kit kat bar 5 Minutes ago.

068. Drinking - Iced Cold Mineral Water.

069. I'm about to - Meet baby later.
070. Listening to - Kanye West - Heartless.

071. Plans for today - Meet baby and Just hang out.

072. Waiting for - The time to get ready and go out.

073. Want kids ? - Sure.. 2 Actually.

074. Want to get married? - Hmm. Dont know.

075. Careers in mind - Designer, Something related to office.

076. Lips or eyes - Lips.

077. Shorter or taller ? - Shorter.

078. Romantic or spontaneous - Romantic.

079. Nice stomach or nice arms - Stomach.

080. Sensitive or loud - Loud.

081. Hook-up or relationship - Relationships.
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant - Trouble-Maker.

083. Lost glasses/contacts → Contacts.

084. Ran away from home → No. Waiting for the right time to actually leave.. Hmm..

085. Hold a gun/knife for self defense - Nopes. Nobody attacks me.(:

086. Killed somebody → Soon, Very soon (:

087. Broken someone's heart → Yes! (:

088. Been arrested → Yes, Not a nice experience.

089. Cried when someone died → Yes, ):
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

090. Yourself - Not sure.

091. Miracles - Yes (:

092. Love at first sight - No. I believe that Love grows.

093. Heaven - Yes. But i Do not believe that i will be attending heaven (:

094. Santa Claus - No! but he's cool. (:

095. Sex on the first date - In lesbian life, Yes. Haahha.

096. Kiss on the first date - Yes(:

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? - yes, Im Seeking for my baby Love.

098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? - No, seriously. Help.

099. Do you believe in God - Yes. but i belive that god is always not there if you need him.

100. This is the 100th and last. - Yes duh, Im Glad Its over.

going out of my mind.

2009-06-01T09:16:00.001-07:00

When will this stop? Im going out of my mind. This is beyond my control. I dont know. Im speechless ):

2009-05-23T07:20:00.000-07:00

EM HERE.

I PERSONALLY DELETE THAT POST. DON'T COME HERE ANYMORE. STOP HATING EACH OTHER. IT'S GOING NOWHERE. i'm so tired of this. just stop.

Em. Em. Em. Em.

2009-04-29T07:31:00.000-07:00

Recently, It has all been about you (: And I'm loving it.

Yesterday That stupid bloody bitch AKA Tong. Called my parents up cause i didnt attend 8days of school. Well of course i won't attend. But due to my absence, My ClassBestie fought with me cause well.. I wasnt paying much attention to her like i used to. But thank you Adib, Darwiis Dinah and other people for entertaining me in class.
So, Briefly, my life in school have been Rough. But there are some nice moments (:
Eg; School food is nice.

Had my MT paper just now. Was pretty Easy. Manage to run through the paper smoothly. No rough surfaces i have to encounter. (:

So tomorrow is my English paper and Somehow, i cannot wait for the composition(:

I have been enjoying my time with Baby. had LOADS of fun. Although there are a few hiccups, we are still doing great And i love you so much baby . So very very very very much(:

Em. Happy 8Months.

2009-04-17T08:05:00.000-07:00

EmBabySayang(: Happy 8months(:

This is my School table. There's lots more but im just lazy to upload them. So baby and i went shopping for the past few days and we bought a lot of stuff and i never regretted buying any one of them. So baby thinks that i look good today cause i was wearing khakis, polo tee and adidas slipers. But i look normal to me. Baby met illi in the morning and they picked me up after school. And went back to my place to wait for me to change. (: Had loooads of fun today. And spoke to Sally, my australian friend. So me and baby Checked in and had a few drinks. We drank and drank and laughed and laughed. So i went back high. Baby bought t-shirts which cost about $60. But really worth it cause i love the printed graphic on the t-shirt. We didnt manage to try it on but I think it will look gorgeous with her new billabong bermudas. haha. Really gorgeous. Illi went to laselle just now and it was gorgeous. Its such a beautiful school. So thanks illi for all the fun and most of all, Thank you baby Sayang for today. You really made my day. I love you.

By the way, Happy 8 months.. I know its yesterday but i didnt manage to post it online. I love you so much. You mean the whole world to me and i cant deny the truth. You are my everything right now. You're my friend, my best friend and my girlfriend. Oh god i love you. I am so in love with you and i am willing to do ANYTHING for you. Literally ANYTHING for you. Sorry for the strict parents but other than that, im glad we are happy. (: Thank god God gave me you. I love you. I miss you. I need you.

Im sleepy now.. Wanna get some rest.

I think some of the alcohol is still there. So yeah.

I'll update soon(:

Baby and me.

2009-04-10T20:29:00.000-07:00

Baby sayang, I miss you.

My baby went to Batam. ): I miss you seh. She went yesterday and is coming back today.

So yesterday, me and Family just walked around town. -.-"

I hope baby is having so much fun there. Its 11.37am now and i am HUNGRY ! so very hungry. So i think i'll grab some food later.

EmBabySayang, I miss you tau. I hope you are doing great there. Our 8month is coming up, Its only in 5 Days. I love you. I really do, So much. I will never ever want to lose you. I love you. You are my everything now. EVERYTHING. So, i really do need you by my side and i miss you gorgeous lips and irresistable smile. I miss our comfort and our laughters. Although its only 2 days, it's like. A zillion decade for me. I really miss you seh. ):

So i chat with someone this morning. Name is annonymous. And the person said "Kau bukannyer perfect, Ramai orng benci kau."

And i was thinking.. Nobody is perfect. Somebody is only perfect to their life partner's eyes. If that somebody is so damn perfect, Please, left me meet that person cause i have never seen such creature before. Atleast i realise that i'm not perfect and i have my own flaws, and i admit. Im not every guy/ girl's dream girl. But the most important thing to me is not that whether i'm perfect or not. Its about being happy. Life is not about whether people like you or not, Life is not that easy. Even if i am perfect, i am not expecting you to like me. At all. Cause you aint worth my time.

And about the hate part:

Some of you out there who knows me for a very long time. You might know me well enough to know that I DONT GIVE A SLIGHTEST FUCK that you hate me. Haha. Like, seriously. Cause everybody has their own enemies. Everybody. So before you open your big mouth to state out your points towards me, Look into the mirror and tell me whether those points go to you or not. Cause if it does, Then congratulations, You met your twin.

Bag, Movie and Slipper and Em.

2009-04-01T05:07:00.001-07:00

Hello Fellow human(:

So, i was just googling around Google and i found some tattoos that i would love to have it on me. Like, seriously.

Gorgeous aint it?

And BabyLove and i bought bags.

Her's is in muddy green while mine is in orange. -.-"
Loing the god damn bag baby (:

And oh yes, not forggeting the Levi's slippers we got on the 31st march 2009. Thank you baby.
Mine is in brown while hers is in blue.

And the other day, we watched Unborn. A scary movie. Its merepek cause me and em nak step Power ah konon. In the theatres, both scared.-.-" Pathetic. But what the hell. hahaha
It was damn fun. And we rode on the 'roller coaster' thingy at Time Zone. Just one ride, we got off then came back to Marsiling to Smoke and stuff. then go hoome (:

Baby, i love you so much tau sayang.Seriously. So damn much(: . Hehe.
LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Lesbian

2009-03-27T19:27:00.000-07:00

A few days back when me and Em was on bus 903, we were playing our itouch and minding our own business until i leaned over to kiss her cheeks, when i turned around and i saw this beast who was giving me the "Thats gross" face.
Its an old MAKCIK with fucking tudong. So when i turned around and gave her a smile, her face started to rot and she said..
"Tak tau malu ke? Nak lesbian. Nak lesbian kat rumah la" .
So i gave her the "You are fucking gross, mind your own business cause our personal life has got nothing to do. If you dont like what you are seeing that fuck off and die you fucking gay-ist." Face. and i leaned over closer to kiss Em's lips.
Em didnt hear anythin as she was listening to music. And when got down, i gave her the "Atleast my partner is better than your rotting husband". So when we got down, i told Em to turn off her Itouch and showed her the person who said that to me.
And she said " Kalau i, i ckp.. "Lesbian kat rumah Cik boleh?" haha.

Well, Baby, i love you.
My birthday was fine. Nothing special at all. Just an ordinary day at school and dinner at Seol Garden with family. Who was there? Me, Nad, My mum, my grandmother and an invited guest who happens to be my brother -.-"
Anyways,
Yesterday went out with Baby, Illi, Lincoln and Erika. Went home about 10.
Erika left about 6pm to church. Illi and Lincoln left about 8. So yeah.
After they all left, me and Baby went to hang out at 139.

So yeah. During school? Me and Fhat was totally left out by the "group". Cause even if we left. Ten minutes later then they will ask, "Eh, Where is fhat and fa?" Hmm. So they are not treating us equally. I suspect the main reason is that we wanted to quit the dance. So faht manage to get her paws off but i didn't . Cause tay said that i cannnot leae the dannce cause of bla bla. -.-" So technically, i was forced in. That was in the morning. Then We skipped English and Geog Because of the Dance thing. Then Mother Tongue.

During MT: So i was like, Turning behind to look at darwiis and disturb him until Bad (my mt teacher) came to me pulled my arm to let me face infront and i was like.. "Masyallah cikgu, ape ni pegang pegang?" Then i wiped my arms cause there was filthy germs all over. Then she was like..

Bad: Kamu ni Perempuan....
Me: Tau la cikgu. Saye perempuan.. Dudok betol2 buat kerje..Tau ..
Bad: Behave la mcm perempuan, nanti lelaki take advantage..
Me: Eh siial ah cikgu, Cikgu ingat saye pompan ape sial cikgu? Cikgu ingat saye pompan murah pe sial. Maruah jgn maen ah siol
Bad: Tak, saye tak maksod gitu
Me: Eh cikgu, saye tau la limit2 saye. Saye pon ade limit la cikgu. Saye bukan pompan mcm gitu la. Saje je cikgu maen ngan maruah saye.
Bad: Saye bukan makne cam gitu..
Me: Yelah cikgu. Saye nak buat keje la.

So yeah. Thats about it ! -.-"
Fucking idiot you know all this Crap.
After school, baby picked me up with cabbie. And fhat is so nice to me today. And Aishah, Kai and suzi tak dtng. :( . Anyway, then we met Illi. Em smoked while waiting for Lincoln and Erika. Then We went to eat at seol garden. Then licoln went to arcade a while. After Having our meal, we headed down to Civic centre at about 5.30pm. Lepak2, Chit chat. Drunk man coming towards us, We called police and police came down to catch the drunk man-.-"
Then left Civic at about 8pm. Headed to 139 with cabbie. Then left 139 at about 9.45. Took cabbie and reach home about ten.. Thats it.
And oh yes, i dont have phone so dont ctc me. Bye. (:

Baby i la.

2009-03-23T06:27:00.000-07:00

Baby, I miss you sial. And i miss this blogg ! (:
I met baby after school today. Today i was like, "OH GOD, i cannot wait till the end of the day, so i can meet my beloved" day. ahhahahaha
Oh god, peeps. I am so lucky to have her.
And bitches out there who thinks that they can even TRY or even HAVE THE THOUGHT of being close with her, Claws off bitch or get ready some new dentures. :D
Well baby, I love you. So much seh. Eh, you know or not you damn cute. I feel like pinching your pipi till the day you die. Can? PleasE? Hehe.

Nothing much at school. Just that some of my classmates had to go home due to colored hair.. and not forgetting..

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY FHAT!
hAPPY BIRTHDAY SHIDAH!
hAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY RAYCIA ONG !
AND HAPPY ADVANCED BIRTHDAY ME ! AHHAHAHAHAH

Me At Camp

2009-03-20T07:44:00.000-07:00

And oh yes. Some of the Camp pictures

Fahem - 160808.

2009-03-20T07:20:00.000-07:00

Baby, I love you so much.

So, Yesterday we went out to Sembawang Shopping Centre to Shop around since we had some extra cash. We had lots of fun. Stayed at Daiso and Starbucks most of the time cause the shopping centre sucks to the bloody maximum cause its so dead. Seriously. Its dead. So anyway, here are the stuff we bought:

We have the same exact slippers. And its damn cool(: hahaha.

Baby bought me this dickies drangonflies bag for my birthday (which is coming soon). Damn, i love you seh baby. So guys in school, you will be seeing me carrying this bag to school soon(:

And Hello Itouch ! This is my baby's itouch. I didnt manage to take a picture of my itouch. But hell yeah, its the same. So When i got my itouch, Baby got hers two days later cause she couldnt wait. Haha. I love you seh baby sayang. So much.

Today we just hand around at Woodlands Lame and my beloved boyfriend (Sheshutik) came down at about 7 and we went home at about 8.30pm.

Baby, Im sorry for every wrong i did cause i didnt mean to do such things. Recently, we had a fight about something and I want to apologise. I promise i will replace it very soon. I will get the money and buy it okay ? I know its not going to be easy but i'll try my best, i promise. I will try to get some cash to replace it. I love you so much and that thing means alot to us. And i deeply apologise for everything. I promised you that i will try my very best to do whatever i can and whatever it takes to make us work. It has been the greatest 7months of my life and i never want it to stop. I really love you. I really do baby. Thank you for all the gifts, it really meant alot to me. I love all the gifts, all of it(: You made me a better person. I love you.

-Fah&Em

-160808 - Still going.

EmBaby 7 Months(:

2009-03-16T07:52:00.000-07:00

Peeps(:

Happy 7months baby sayang.

Im so in love with you.Although there are some hard times for us, remember that i always love you and some of the things i may have said, i may have not mean it and im ery sorry about it. I love you so much Embaby syg (: You mean the world to me..

So me and BabyLove Went to watch movie(: The movie called 'Push'. The trailers are all magnificent, the show itself, not even close. Em fell asleep. Which is so taik. haha . Then eat eat eat. Hehe . I totally enjoyed myself. Em baby has been so totally awesome to me. and i love her so much.

HAHA ! BITCH ! (you know who you are) She dont need you no more. (: Im so happy for you baby syg(:

For those Classmates out there seeking for Camp pics, I will put up the pics soon aites?

Tired.

2009-03-13T08:30:00.001-07:00

Tired and sleepy.

EmBabySayang(:

2009-03-11T06:44:00.001-07:00

EmBabySayang,

I love you sayang, so much. You have beeen very nice to me lately and I'm having a blast with you. I am so glad i skipped school yesterday to be with you. It has been a long time since we last had incredible mornings(: . I miss your morning smell and your morning looks. I miss your morning hair and morning smile. I miss meeting you every morning and have a nice long nap. I miss it when you hug me tight till i fall asleep. I miss everything about you. I miss you so much. I want you by my side, holding me tight right now. You mean the world to me and I'm not exaggerating cause you are my everything. Despite all the arguments, i am having an awesome time with you. You're an incredible person and i never want you out of my sight. You're loving, passionate and you're adorable. You're kind, understanding and cute. (: i love you so much baby. Baby, you're the best thing that ever happened to me, please dont leave me cause, i swear i will be nothing without you. Being with you is worthwhile. You are the roots that supports me. You're sweet and romantic, just the way i like it. i love you so much. I never thought that we'll go on this long until i realise how much you mean to me. You make me calm when I'm sad. You make me smile when i'm sad. You made me, Farah. I've changed for the better, in way.

Thank you Em
You are what i need now, then, forever.
Promise to hold me tight and never let go baby. I love you(:
I really do.

Camp.

2009-03-07T18:58:00.000-08:00

Camp was Fun((:

1st day:

Went to school and stuff, as per normal. I still think that its so stupid to let the sec 3s go for reading first, Seriously. Most of them threw the reading article away after that. I dont get my school -.-" . Anyway, I was soo sad when Ina tak dpt go camp. We tried asking tay to let her off ah. But too bad, no can do. Sigh. So on the way there, sat with a few friends , talk talk talk talk. Hehe. Reach there, eat and stuff.. i forgot what else we did. Oh yes, We did Low elements, like stupid bridge and stuff. I couldnt wait for th next day cause got kayaking and stuff. aND OH YES, we did this stupid activity called 'kidnapped'. Its when suzi got kidnapped and we had to find her and shit. So while playing the game, Low came to me and asked, 'got lighter or not' i was like.. "HUH?" . hahahah. SO then me and syidah went back to our hut to grab the lighter and passed him. Chibye kn. haha. Slept at night while syidah all smoke at the stupid hut. Too bad i could take any pics there. chibye tol. hahaha. The hut was si damn scary sial. Talked to my baby awhile, hung up when heard the instructor's voice. CHibye. Haha. Then sleep sleep sleep with Syidah & syafiqah ((: .. Baby went for her interview today and i was sooo looking forward to going home cause i missed her ! )):

2nd Day:

Woke up at 5.30am cause heard dinah screaming "BABI HUTAN" IN THE MORNING ! i was like .. "omg, pagi2 bute da kene jerit babi hutan. sial betol. " It was such a HOT night ok. But in the morning, everybody was searching for a blanket to keep them warm, shit. Its fun. And oh yes, we played cards last night before bed. ahhahaha . SO we had to assemble by 7.20 or something. after wake up, maki dinah psl biseng, Open the door and screamed "GOOD MORNING SINGAPORE !" . ahaha (the people at my hut know what im doing). So anyways, went to bathe, breakfast then hmmm .. i think we did the high elements. Okay, so the high elements, i LITERALLY CRIED ON TOP. fuck, it was damn scary sial. Pukitol. Serious ! You cannot imagine how scared i was ! Serious ! i was like, holding on to my LIFE HERE! AHAHAH . damn, but damn shiok man. So after the high elements thing, went to FLYING FOX! WOOOO ! also known as- Zip Line. So anyway, i had to be the last 3rd to go down cause i had to take care of the stupid ladder thing. Stupid TONG. pukitol. before i jumped, i scream.. "bye shidah !" hahahah . and jumped ! hahaha , damn gerek la sial. hahaha. Too bad we didnt get to do abseilling. cause dont know. hahahaha . anyway, after flying fox, we go eat lunch. HAD 2 SERVINGS. aahahha . damn gerek . serious. Its damn sedap. Like, seriously. OMG ! hahaha . After lunch, went .. rock climbing with dinah. Hahah ! (dinah, dinah. haha) Then, Prep. Kimak!KAYAKING SAKET HATI SIAL ! ahah . but had fun playing with hose. Then after that hmmm.. bathe, dinner. Then campfire. Best giler. ahhaha . serious.((: Well, i had fun. Then SLEEP ! OMG ! SLEEP !

n i was missing baby so much seh . I felt like crying sial . Cause my baby was sick )):

3rd day:

WOKE UP AT 6.30 ! haha . smue bgn lmbt . ahhahah . Then bathe, breakfast then HOME! Sat with the rest awhile at 137, Here are some of the pictures :

DONE !

Btw, EmBabySayang, I'm loving you more each day. Day by day. ((: I love you. so much ! ((: Seriously, i do ((:

hmpft.

2009-03-03T06:10:00.000-08:00

Im speechless about everything. seriously.
Its like, at last, farah can keep her fucking mouth fucking shut before she blabber about some other shit that other people dot wanna know about. :D
Now now, Baby syang, You have my blessings for tomorrow. I promise.
My girlfriend has been so nice to me and I dont know why I have to be the one to ruin it. (:
Well, whatever it is, Im still happy and alive. That's what matters.
I love you baby sayang. :D

Btw, Im going to sec 3 camp for a 3days and 2nights. So, yeah.
I wont be updating anytime soon(:
Chow fellow mates :D
Love you all(:

Me.

2009-03-01T05:44:00.002-08:00

I dont feel like me anymore. I need me back. I want myself back):

Eat.

2009-03-01T05:04:00.000-08:00

I ate like, SO MUCH today. I am SO GOING TO BE FAT.
Well people, Im going out tomorrow with fhat and all for a shopping spree to shop for camp stuff. So, yeah. Hope to have fun(: Hmm.
I didnt meet baby today due to an outing my parents planned. Which is to go ALL THE WAY to east coast, ate mac, go arab street and walk around.
At arab street, i wanted to go to the toilet, but i was too damn scary. so i was so scared that i asked my MUM to follow in the cubicle. Cause the lights was flickering. and it was damn and VERY VERY VERY SCARY. Damn.
It was like, too scary . haha. MEPEK.
So yeah..

Aisyah, What i told you just now please keep it to yourself.
I know i can trust you(:
I love you bitch(:

Cant wait for tomorrow. And for baby.
Im sorry about last night. And good luck for the police interiew. you have my blessings(:
I love you.

Fuck.

2009-02-28T04:46:00.000-08:00

INTF.
Seriously, Im not joking.(:

Yesterday Night & Today

2009-02-26T05:50:00.000-08:00

Well. We fought. So yeah. The end. DOnt want to Add in any details cause it will just hurt me more. (:

Thank you so much Suzi and Aisyah for being there for me in the morning. I love you guys.
And i love you Siti and Syafiqah for being there for me during maths, It was a Hard time for me. So, im sorry for ruining your day if my emotional gets in the way.
Its pretty hard for me to show people that im actually Sad and stuff. Cause im not pretty used to crying infront of my friends. Its rare(:

Well, I love em. We're still together and happy as ever. Trying to put things behind us cause it was a pretty bad fight last night. So, Yeah (:

Im speechless. Bye
Anyway, thanks everyone for comforting me
AND FHAT ! COME BACK SCHOOL !(:

Boredom.

2009-02-24T23:20:00.000-08:00

Emma Roberts is So Beautiful. Look at her.

This Shane is realy super fucking cute. How i wish she is gay in real life, she would be my ultimate fantasy. Gosh. Oh Shane....

Well Hello Peeps.

And again, im rotting at home again since im not meeting my girlfriend. School was Normal.

Nothing funny or anything happened. I havent laughed out loud so far. Has been so long.

Well, im missing my baby since i have not met her for what ? 3 days? Yeah, getting used to the fact that we too have lives of our own and its not just always about us and whatever shit. -.-"

To those out there who kept on bugging me whether im met em or not. I didnt, she went back to her ITE school to pick up her cert.

Im so bored ! Cant sleep, No food, nothing. Best part of all. No ciggies. -.-" So im like, desperate for ciggies.): I want ciggies. ):

Blank.

2009-02-24T06:27:00.000-08:00

Hello peeps. So, today..

Was one of the dead days. -.-"

Aishah, syeedah not here.

Witthout aisyah, School is so fucking dead.

Again, i was alone for geog!

COME BACK SCHOOL SYEEDAH !

Anyway, The other day, me and my girlfriend was under the block with nothing to do. So i took out my pencil case and drew on sheets of foolscap paper so suddenly, she took y hand and started drawing. So i smoked and played sims on her phone (Oh penny..) . The minute i look at my hand, she drew my name like damn big. So what i had to do when i reach home was to scrub my hand with a sponge till my sponge turned blue! -.-"

So here's the picture..

Some of you guys asked me why i didnt meet em today, Well, she went out with her friends. So i didnt meet her. ok? (:

I love you baby(:

Bye.

Today

2009-02-23T03:38:00.000-08:00

Skipped P.E and these are some of the photos. So yeah . The rest , ask from me (:

So yeah . Hadz and Ira.. Dont waste your time with people like us, cause one day, you will think that its so stupid to be fighting with MINORS like us. so yeah. pfffft.

Anyway, I love aisyah, siti, fieq and Fhat oii ! hahahah

And to my baby, Im sorry things didnt end up well just now. I really love you and you know that right? so much tau . I cannot wait for our 7th month . ahahahhahah . Stupid right? But yeah . hahahaha

Its just in 3weeks. hahaha . No worries.

Eh fuck sial, Camp coming ! The only thing im worried about is, Not meeting my baby. And i am SO going to miss her. SO MUCH SIAL ! pukitol.haha..

Dont know what else to write eh.

And oh yes,

Another beauty girl from MSL. She is so beautiful, he prettiness can blind you..

The one and only, the great, the beautiful

BADARIAH !

anaizus kecek2

2009-02-22T03:04:00.000-08:00

These are my sayangs :

Fhat.

Sha.

I love you guys !

ahahha . anyway, i post again today cause, i dont know why. haha . I just feel like posting. Hehe.

And here's a treat to all the guys out there. Here's a picture of the most beautiful. most talented human being you ever see. Caution, the picture might be too explicit.

Presenting,
KECEK2

Valentines, Girlfriend, Boyfriend.

2009-02-22T02:29:00.000-08:00

Hello !

So you guys might be thinking, What did she get Em for valentines day ?
Well actually, i just drew something on a piece of paper and gave it to her.
Its the thought that counts right?

This is my dearest girlfriend and have you seen my new hair? -.-"

short shoort shoort!

And this is my boyfriend.

My sayang !

Rifqi which is also known as SKUTIK ! aka my boyfriend.

Aint he cute? haha..

Here are just some of the photos that i want to upload. haah. Toodles.

Normal Days.

2009-02-21T05:58:00.000-08:00

As per Normal my babies,
Met up with girlfriend.
Somehow, she looks extremely good today and smells better.
Baby, i love you so much ! n you know that right ? (:
Cheer up.
I promise to be there to support you, comfort you and help you. I will support you to the maximum to see a smile on your face. I just want you to be happy. I need to see that cute smiling em everyday. I dont want you to frown cause every moment you frown, It hurts me. I pormise to comfort you and keep you safe and warm near me if you need somebody to go to. I want to be the shoulders for you to cry on and the person for you to run to if you have problems. I will help you in any way possible as long as you're happy. Your happiness means alot to me.
I know you're going through alot baby and i promise to be there for you.

Even if it takes letting me go for you to be happy, i am willing to go because you're happiness is everything to me. I understand what you are doing in time to come is for your own good. And i am willing to support you. (:
I love you. So much.

Kill her.

2009-02-20T06:34:00.000-08:00

Seriously, i would rather date this fat girl and have SEX with her till the END OF TIME
than date this stupid bitch.

Suziana Ho. Aku seriously Irritated by you. By the fact that kau actually went out with an attached guy ( i wont say who) is already pissing me off cause it has something to do with me. If you feel so guilty, why did you do it in the first place? I read Aisyah and fatini's blogg and i love you guys ! ahaha.

Anyway, i read their blogg and i laughed cause you know why? Cause its the truth. The fact that you are a whore and you're proud of it? What the fuck suzi. Seriously, What the fuck. I dont know what is there to be so proud of. I was so glad when i screamed out " YOU ARE SUCH A WHORE " at your face and make you actually realise that you are one and you know what, It aint a good thing. Being a whore is not cool cause you're gain more haters and i bet you hate haters as much as they hate you. Obviously you know that the whole class is against you and you are still trying to fit in? Come on ! Get a life.

One more thing, can you just please oh god please, just do me one favour?
SHUT THE FUCK UP CAUSE WE DONT NEED YOUR FUCKING COMMENTS.
Thank you.

And to the MSL Blogger. I respect you. But i would really like to know you name. Although all the things you said was mean, I guess the fact that its all the truth, thats why its funny. I wonder, Where did you get my e-mail from? Do reply to my blogg if you are reading this MSL blogger.

And to baby Love, i love you syg(:
Happy 6th month. You mean the world to me.(:

I will always love you.

2009-02-13T06:38:00.000-08:00

If i should stay, I will only be in your way.
So ill go but i know , i will think of you every step of the way.
bitter sweet memories that is all im taking with me.
so goodbye, please dont cry. We both know im not what you need.
I hope like treats kiind and i hope you hae all you dreamed of and i wish you future and happiness but above all this, i wish you love.
I will always love you.

Song.

Silent Killer.

2009-02-06T08:02:00.000-08:00

Im cold as if im at northpole and my nose is running like a sink pipe washing dishes. God. I hate it when people say i love you and dont mean it.

She loves you but is she IN LOVE with you?
I wonder how people can be so in love with one another at 9pm and shout like crazy to each other at 11. One moment you're saying, i love you, you're the best. The other, you go, you are the worst person ever. I dont even know why im here ! You're the one who always ruin the day.
-.-" Contradicting.

Anyway, Ignore about my problems.
Theres somebody in the class who wants to fit in so much till it sucks.Guess what somebody, If you can fiind a person in class that actually likes you. Show me who. Tell me his/her name. I would like to meet that person and ask them what is so good about you. Cause guess what. Since you're away, The class has been so Peaceful.

Baby, I love you so much. Dont hate me.

Brother. ROT IN HELL.

Aishah, God, i love you.
Fhat, I love you oi!
Syeeda, Where'd you go? I miss you!
CT, I love you.
Suzi, Come back !

All this people so gunduk.
I dont know. Im so mad right now that it doesnt make sense anymore cause you know why ? Cause i dont know what im mad at. Serious. -.-" How pathetic can i be?

Anyway, I love you. Bye
PS: Noor, Welcome to MSL. school of pretty bitches and hot guys with no balls (: . Pretty much, school of shit but the best. (: .

Silent.

2009-02-04T02:40:00.002-08:00

Without a maid, the house is so dead.
I dont think my mum can stand long without a maid. Haha.
Serious.

290109

2009-01-28T17:01:00.000-08:00

Hey.

Im sick and i literally have 5days of MC cause just got back from the hospital. My blood test was as clean as my ass. So good news (: And i got MC till 1st January. Since 23rd January. They took three whole tubes of my blood. One tube is like, the size of a lipstick. Which doesnt hurt at all but the amount of blood they took, i felt like im going to die of loss of blood. (:

Anyway, i read the 'the bloody critics' blog and i found the blog to be so awesome. haha (:

There was this post about this transsexual who took pictures of himself with just lingerie on. Its damn gross.

Here are some of the pics :

PRESENTING ...

BELLA !!

Blank Space

2009-01-26T05:09:00.000-08:00

Nothing much has been happening. My baby just came back from a 3-day trip to Batam and now still on the phone with her since its only 9.11pm . I watched titanic just now and its damn irritating cause after all that trouble, stupid jack still dies. my gosh. i sill love them and still waiting for my girlfriend to pass the the CD "revolutionary road". God. Haha.

I miss my baby boo. Okay stop it eh fa. Anywho, I miss my baby and cant wait to meet her.

Just got bck from the hospital yesterday, am suffering from stupid dengue fever. -.-" Irritating man these mosquitoes. hahaha

dengue may cause internal bleeding which cause cause bleeding in the brains and may bleed to death. So yeah . HAHAHAHA
Scary aint it? But it wont happen to me. Dont worry. Im fine.

I loove you guys anyway. Hehehe. Bye bye babies.. MUAHKSSS

Love exists.

2009-01-02T04:00:00.000-08:00

i have never, Never felt this way towards someone before.
My baby, my life, my everything. You are the most adorable, most kindest person i have ever met. You make my day.
You make me smile so easily when I'm sad.
You make me cool down so easily when I'm mad.
You make me laugh so easily when I'm scared.
I hope I'm doing the same towards you.
I hope that, Your past won't affect your present. Because if it does, it will affect the future you know. Some things are meant to let go. Like, bad memories, heartache and depression. Bitter sweet memories, that is all i want you to keep. Say goodbye, please don't hold on. We both know, its not what you need. You know what / who I'm talking about.

I love you dear. You know i do. We do have issues that i should not share with you out there but I just want to tell my baby that, I love you. No matter what happens. We will go through thick or thin. Cry in each others' shoulders. laugh together, smile together, have fun together. I want to be by your side always. I want to be that someone you can depend on. I want to be that someone that you love.

I love you Em.
~bye.

Sad, happy, ecstatic.

2008-12-13T05:20:00.000-08:00

I hate everything that is happening. I was supposed to be grounded with no phone and laptop for one week. But yes, i got it back. I really don't know what to say about the people living in this house. I don't even want to call them a 'family'. My parents wants to send me to pertapis. Its like Girls home for malays. Its stupid cause i swear i won't call them my parents once they send me there. No parents wants to send their kid in there except mine. My mum even said 'I wish i wasn'tyour mum' Do you know how sad that is? Picturing back old times when we had fun, going shopping and shit. i miss all that. i miss critising people. I miss my mum. How i wish i can get back with her. Even my own mum hates me. Do you know how sad it is? Even typing this out, im crying. I know i don't usually cry but, she really meant a lot to me. I just want people to accept me for what i am. Im hating life right now. I just want my mum back. I know i did terrible things but i want to change. But i know its for the good. But will it make me smile? To see you smile at me makes me so happy. But now, it sucks. You don't even look at me. It hurts me to hear people critising you. But you know why i didn't say anything? Because its true. Its all true what they say. But you know something? I've been so selfish, thinking about myself and my happiness not thinkng about yours. You just want peace and i know that . You just have to trust me that i wont do anything stupid. I know its hard but please, give me one last chance. I know you cant read this, but i love you so much , more than anything in the world. I miss you mum. I really do. =(

For my baby, Thank you so much for going through this with me. I love you so much. I know these few days we quarell alot but its all my fault. Im really very sorry. I feel really so bad but you know that i will do anything to make things work. to make us work . I really love you. I love you so much em. I really do. Please dont leave me. Ever.=)

-Me and baby went esplanade and marina square today, had so much fun and bought alot of stuff. I love you bby !! SO MUCH! =D

Titanic.

2008-12-09T06:20:00.000-08:00

I feel like im in the titanic. Im enjoying the wave. Just waiting to fall.

Escape Theme Park.

2008-12-07T18:53:00.001-08:00

Went to Escape about 2 days back with my baby. It was very fun and tiring. I've never been to escape before so its a very dissapointing thing to see singapore have such boring rides. haha . I love the viking . Baby i so scared. hehe . Cute la die . WAKAKA . baby ! viking pe? hahah .
I so cant wait for zoo and science centre. our next plans. I figured that its better to go to these places then sitting until the void deck doing nothing . haha . although this kind of places need money, atleast we have fun . haha .. =D.
I love my baby so much.

And Selamat Hari Raye Haji to all those muslims out there ! =D
Bye!

Some People in this house.

2008-11-29T19:07:00.000-08:00

Epul not getting me new phone while Doough on the tele gets 2 new phones, 2 speakers and a laptop.

FAIR OR NOT FAIR?
YOU CHOOSE.

Sorry for not being perfect.

2008-11-28T05:49:00.000-08:00

I dont have the perfect family.
I dont have the perfect everything at all.

Im sorry for my flaws !

Baby sayang .

2008-11-27T07:03:00.000-08:00

Baby sayang , I love you so much . My baby got 2 assignments to be done in three days which is due tomorrow so we spend half the day at the library . Baby, Just to let you know that i'll always be here with you . No matter what happens, i will be here always right beside you Okay baby sayang i love you .

As for the 30T crew, Sorry guys for not attending to any practices so far. I will try to make it. Okay ?

As for everyone out there, i love you . hahah .

Baby, i love you so much ! You're the one i need right now.
It has been 3 hours since i met you and i miss you like FUCK ! urgh ! hehhehe

BTW ! my baby so hot ! hahahahah . BYE!

No reason at all.

2008-11-20T23:18:00.000-08:00

No reason for these tears.
No reason for these cries.
No reason for this frown.
No reason for how im feelig right now.
No reason at all.
Im just feeling very shitty right now. I dont know.

The minute i lay down on my soft covers of my warm and comfortable bed, Tears begin to glide down my cheeks, Thousands of thoughts started overflowing my mind. I was in state of confusion. How do i answer all these questions in such short period of time? i feel like all my problems are crashing down on me just as soon as i was just about to stand up. I fell hard on the ground and its still hurting. The bruises, the scars and all the blood i lost still lingers on me. Ever drop of blood i lost is pure hell to me cause its hurting me everytime i make a sudden move. Even all the words in the world could not explain how im feeling right now. I dont know whether to smile or to frown. I dont know whether to stand or to lie dead. I dont know whether to be happy or sad, to be mad or ashamed. Im just terrified of everthing around me. My life is like, a dark room and im just sitting one corner not knowing what is around me. All i could feel was Sharp piercing knives and needles poking me evertime i make a move. Im just waiting for someone to turn on the light and show me that what has been surrounding me is not as bad as i thought it is. Sitting at the corner as i bleed, as i was waiting to blow my last breath, Nobody has opened the door. And im still waiting for that someone to come and save me from this hell.

But the question that i kept asking myself throughout my life was,
Why am i still smiling?

The answer hit me a few moments back when i suddenly get up from my bed, sat down at the edges and smiled. Its because of people like my friends and my girlfriend that kept me going. They are the ones who didnt stop me from dreaming. from achieving something. All i wanted was to be happy. and i guess hapiness is everywhere. Its just up to you to to open your eyes.

Do you want to stay at the corner of the terrifying room and cry till you bleed
or do you want to get up and leave the room even if takes hurting yourself but you know that the other side of the door can lead you to hapiness, to light.

Its your decision, not others.

I was depending on that someone to turn on that light so much that fear took over my mind. But now, i am still trying to stand up. And it hurts alot but im pushing myself.
Thank you friends and Em for helping me.

For my baby,
I love you so much. I cant let you go. I've given you everything i've got to make you happy and all im asking for is for you to stay here with me. Stick by me and make me smile. Thank you for everything.

For my family,
fuck off cause i dont need your shit right now cause all you guys do is talk shit with me, why cant we be normal? I just dont understand what the fuck you guys want from me.

And the rest, I love you guys. So much..

Stupid "Dough on the tele"

2008-11-18T03:29:00.001-08:00

I hate butch.She's fcking ambitious.
I hate lesbians.She's fcking stupid.
I hate pierce-obsessions.She's fcking clever.
I hate gluesniffers.She's fcking never rock my sneakers.
I hate heartless kids.She's ignorant.
Have i mentioned that i dont have a sister?Okay good.
Thanks.
When a good girl gone bad,she's fcking gone forever,sir.

This is what my brother Just told the whole fucking world.
What the fuck !

Give up.

2008-11-18T02:41:00.000-08:00

Hey. Someone caught me just when i was about to fall . My angel ! My beloved Em. Haha . Bye ! i love you em ! so much i can die .

Btw, im deleting my account and creating a new one. Only friends are accepted. Thanks.

Continue

2008-11-17T07:49:00.001-08:00

Still falling. Shit.

Fall.

2008-11-14T06:35:00.001-08:00

Im falling. Please help me.

Em.

2008-11-12T03:52:00.000-08:00

Fuck. Im so in love. Seriously.
Baby, You are fucking hot i melt everytime i look into your eyes.
And im serious. You are soooo hot. (:
Thank you for a fabulous Day. I love today and i cant wait for tomorrow to meet you.
Im so excited. My heart is beating so fast i can smile. Oh my.
Im so.. WOW !
Im so in love !!
I LOVE YOU SYG ! SERIOUSLY ! I SO LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Life.

2008-11-11T04:12:00.000-08:00

I love my em. I seriously do. Im so sorry baby for making you feel that way. I just feel like truning back time and fix things but i cant so.. Ill try my best, again, to change things around here alright? Please trust me this time. I love you so much to let you go. I'd rather get hit by a car or inject poison in my blood than having to deal with this again. I love you so much and i would do anything for you. And i promise that i will take care of you and love you like no one else did. Please, do not leave me again. I love you too much to see you leave. I have never felt this way before. Ever. I'm so in love. I love you. Seriously seyh baby ! I BOLEH NAEK GILE ! hahaahha.

and im so sick la sebenarnyer. hahahha

Two-Way.

2008-11-09T03:07:00.000-08:00

I love only 2 person in this world right now.
Em & Halim..

If your name is not there that means you mean shit to me.
Thank you and goodbye.
Haha.

Halim.

2008-11-07T07:57:00.001-08:00

Something halim wrote about me:

Today i wanna talk about my best girlfriend that isFarah hany binte haji saiful baharthat has been known as Fadindawe both had been friend since we were primary 3that is when i move to woodlands and change to marsilingprimary school farah was my class chair person she was the most friendly personin the class,she is friendly all the good times .The pass was unforgettablefew year after when we get to noticed that we get differentsecondary school life i was a change for us .i told her thati gonna miss all the night calls and stuff .Ive criedafter all night called talking to her.And shes the only person that i still contacting with besides suzi.Years past we both had change alotfarah from a tomboy girl become a beautiful ladyand me from a thin boy becoming fatter day by day.now farah has change i really miss the old her but the new her is more funand dangerous.You guys out there pleasedon't judge farah shes trying to be a better person in her own waythat is unique for her.Just 1 thing that i don't want isto lose such a good friend like her farah .I cant imagine life without her in my storyshes the reason for breathing,the cause for myliving.without her in my world,i felt hopeless,useless and dead.i would just wish for my life to be shortenby the times you left me.countless,which means my days arenumbered.i had always wished for a wishing well which reallycome true.why?course i could wish for you to be mine forevermy best friend farah.

I love you halim. You're the only one i trust right now in this shitty world. thank you for always being there when i need someone.

Get it.

2008-11-07T06:52:00.000-08:00

I dont understand people who like to piss other people off just to let them feel good. If you're so emotionally crushed, Go and cut yourself till you bleed to death. If you think that you only text your ex when you're in danger of something to make yourself feel good when you know that deep inside you, you're hurting.. Then i think you should go and jump up your own ass and die. Ok, tell me. You hate her because she changed her blog link cause you dont get to read her fascinating blog? Ok, all i got to say is.. Return back to your hospital and keep eating your bloody medicine and i hope you choke on those and die on the floor crying her name out cause you know what? Really.. i fucking dont mind if you fucking text her.. Sometimes. But if you fucking text her telling her that you fucking miss her or you still fucking love her.. Then you can fuck off and die. Fuck every message you sent her ! Fuck everything you did with her in the past ! Fuck the every moment i think about this ! Fuck my feelings cause my feeling dont mean shit in your fucking thin dictionary ! Fuck everything thats happening cause you know why? My girlfriend just opened a new fucking book and i dont want to get all your shit on her fucking clean book. I know you wont get to read this fucking post.. But what the hell.. I hope you do. I hope this is the last thing you read before you fucking die and rot in hell ! im fucking mad at you ok? Im so fucking mad at you but you know fucking why i cant do anything? Cause you will get physically and emotionally abused and you will cry in the room under your fucking cover till your eyes bleed. You will fucking hurt yourself till you fucking blow your last breath ! Fuck everything that is happening. Get the fuck off her life ! you're fucking pissing me off..

I love Em. So much. Ok? And i dont need your shits right now. You're not the only one with problems in this shitty world. I dont care if your fucking fat ankles just broke, your heart beat just stopped. I dont fucking care. Just dont fucking Get back into my girlfriend's life cause you're not in her book no more. Get a fucking life. You're telling my gf that there are people chasing after you? THEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE AND GO TO THEM. idiot people should never live on the face of this planet. IDIOT!

Looks.

2008-11-04T04:23:00.000-08:00

Even if you're as thin as a toothpick,
Even if you're as fat as a cow,
Even if you're as short as a dwarf,
Even if you're as tall as a tree.
I can promise you that i will still love you. I love you for who you are.

I love the way you touch me.
I love the way you run your fingers through my hair.
I love the way you breathe at my neck.
I love the way you tease me.
I love the way you kiss me.
I love the way you hug me.
I just, Love you.
Even all the words in the world could not explain how much i love you Em.
I love you. So much.

In love.

2008-11-03T02:39:00.000-08:00

Its has been ages since i last updated. I've got to say that im in love. With Em. She is the best thing that ever happened to me although we are having so much issues. Im not going to state what are the issues but yeah. Things are going well nowadays. I just want to apologise for the prank i held. About the Puteri Sabrina Delilah. You must know that i love you and i just want to know what will happen if in real life, it really happens. Im in the wrong for doing that but.. i just love you so much that i feel so insecure.. You are the last thing i want to lose. I lost my everything. My family, friends and you're the last person i have that can actually make me.. Well, make me smile. Im so ecstatic whenever i see your face. It makes me want to kiss you like, every moment.I know we hurt each other now and then but i love you. So much you cant even imagine it. I know i dont usually say these kind of things but yes, i do really mean it. Im sorry about my parents being an ass but, im glad you are still here by my side. I'm having so much problems at home and you're always there. I love you so much. Thank you for being there when i was lonely, when i was scared, when i was terrified. Thank you so much. You know i will always be there for you when you need me right? I love you baby. Please do me on favour. Please dont hurt me. I love you too much to see you leave. Thank you once again for pulling me up when i wanted to fall. thank you again for cheering me up when im down. Thank you again for helping me when i need help. I love you. So much.

Im in love.

Gross.

2008-10-29T03:26:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just feel like digging your nose in public but you cant because its too embarassing and you have to go all the way to the toilet when you're by yourself and you can dig your nose and satisfy your need. Its just like standing beside a person who smells like armpit. You cant tell them straight to their face but you end up hiding behind a wall to catch some fresh air. Just like when you have to walk in a crowd to get into a train and when you turn to your right, a wet hairy arm is touching your nice clean palm and you get disgusted so you pursposely call your friend by putting your hand on his/her shoulders so you can take the opportunity to wipe your hand clean. Or like when you see a whole bunch of banglas sleeping on the void deck and you just feel like stepping on them cause they made the whole area smells of bad breath and dirty underwear.
Haha. Gross people should never live on the face of this planet.
Bye.

Sometimes.

2008-10-08T05:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just have to let them go. Let them breath although you are suffocating to death. You know what i mean?

Stewpid is my name.

2008-10-06T05:29:00.000-07:00

The stupidest but also the most scariest moment of my LIFE ! As you all know, i have a phobia.. yes, CATS.

So a few minutes ago, there was a group of teenagers on the phone.. The public phone and the girl started saying .. "abng ok tak? maseh kene pukol?" As a KPO freak as you all know.. i turned back and looked at them.. so i was walking, not looking down. just when i turned back.. i did not look downa and i didnt realise there was a cat there. So i ACCIDENTALLY kicked it. NOT HARD OK!. then i jumped for a moment.. my hard was racing like fuck ! then the cat ran awa but stoped and stared at me. So i quickl ran up the stairs. And it fucking chased me. By then, my heart was pumping like fuck ! It was literally racing. I can even hear my own heart beat. I couldnt help but ACCIDENTALLY screamed. FOR A MOMENT ! the cat was literally chasing me and it looked furious. My luck, there's a girl coming up the stair and saw me like that.. standing there, practically in shocked ! and she quickly ran up and help me.. by carying the cat. What a luck. seriously. And i started apologising.. "Sorry.. im scared of cats.. sorr giler.. i takot ngan kucing ah.. sorry" YEAH I KNOW ! fuck siall !!
till now, my heart is still pumping like fuck and im still shivering like i just saw a ghost. fuck siall. SCARY SIA ! Eh ! for a person who is phobia of cats, its a good thing that i didnt faint. If a cat just glance at me, i would freak out.. What about being chased by it? FUCK ! Scariest day siaaall !
Okok. im still shivering. hahahahahahhahahaha.
DONT YOU DARE LAUGH AT ME ! so sad taooo.

Okok. So, the whole day..
Hang around at em's place
Lepak a while.
Went to play pool.
Went to play arcade.
Smoke. ATE ATE ATE ATE.
Go starbucks
Then lepak lepak lepak lepak . Just got home.
Em went out with her friends to causeway..
Hope shes having fun and im missing her already. How pathetic am i ? hahahah.
ok chow.

change.

2008-10-05T04:15:00.000-07:00

Some things must change.

Hate.

2008-10-02T04:53:00.000-07:00

Do you know what i hate in this particular moment? My parents. The just dont understand what these kids want now-a-days. I feel so low of myself. Like, sometimes i feel home is hell. Yeah, most of you guys think the same way too but sometimes i just WANT to go home you know. I miss talks with mum or dad. Dad not really. Just my mum. I love the way she smiles and laugh when i make stupid jokes and i love that we can go out shopping and still have fun. Now is like, talking about our issues like, im not spending enough time at home, im always coming home late and stuff. Its killing me. Why cant it be like old times when we sit infront of the tv and insult the commercials and the way the actors act. I miss those moments you know. Now, shes like.. you love your friends more than you love me.. you spend more time with your friends than me and stuff like that. I think that my dad is a pussy you know. He is so scared of my mum. like, everytime i want to go out and ask for my dad's permission, he will be like.. go ask mum.. or like.. i dont know, ask your mum or .. inform your mum. Everything is about my mum. Kes.. "laki takot bini" ah ni.
My mum thinks shes the boss just because shes the boss at work she think that everthing she does is doing the best for us. I just dont know what to say. Maybe if you just pass me the home key and let me come home anytime i fucking want, We wouldnt have issues like this you know..

The other day, i had a fight with my mum and she wanted to meet Em and stuff..
So she started saying to em.
"i know im not here for her 24/7. she is my life.. bla bla.. promise me to love her as much as i do. I cannot prevent her from seeing you and bla bla.. Promise me that you will take care of her.. and bla bla"

She said that to m fucking girlfriend. Do you how embarrasing it is? But somehow, better cause now, em can come over my place whenever the fuck she wants. hahaha.

Em, i love you so much. I know we have so many issues. Especially the exgirlfriend. But i just want you to know that i love you so much. In and out. You look great, you're just perfect. Please do not look down on yourself. Thank you for being here with me throughout my hell at home. Our parents are killing us both. softly. But i love you em. I really. a day of not meeting you is worser than spending 2 weeks at home. I cannot leave you. I really CANNOT. i love you baby. So much. i've never felt love like this b4. Thank you once again.

I love Em.
I'm not in love with my parents right now cause they're killing me sofly. Inch by inch. It hurts.

Well. Bye now.

Million years.

2008-09-05T22:08:00.000-07:00

I feel like it has been a million years since i last posted.
Ok. I got myself into another shit again. Its not new for some of you to hear that i'm in trouble. I got my hp lappy confiscated. i had to tell my mum that i have to do some school stuff online. So she passed me tha lappy . I fucking hate this house. I wont call it a house anymore. Its more like hell. I have not stepped out of this house for god knows how long and that worse part is. Its fasting month. I cant even eat. Omg. This feeling of frustration is killing me bit by bit. I just want to smoke till the day i blow my last breath.

Baby, i love you so much. So much that you cant imagine it. In the first place, i didnt even think that i would fall in love with you. YOU. I saw you a couple of times with the ex girlfriend and i thought you guys were going to last for decades and i thought that i would never turn gay for someone like you. But i did. You're different. You dare to speak up. You dare to be different. You're honest . Thats what i like. I know we're having some issues right now about the people i hang out with but i'm sorry baby. i cant choose them. I only have them. You are talking about the people that stood by me for the past few years. They made me laugh. They made my smile. They made me cry but they are always by me. I wish that i can have you by my side right now so i can hug and kiss you all day and night. Your lips are so tempting. i fucking love you and i dont even know why.. Thanks baby for going through this with me.

Ps. To the others out there.
Dont contact me anymore. I'm in love... and i dont have a phone and computer.
ahahahah..

I LOVE YOU IEARMAH SHARIZAH. hehehehe .

Scared.

2008-08-17T06:25:00.000-07:00

Im scared of relationships. I really am. Im terrified. I cant do it . I just cont continue with relationships. Its hard. Its fucking hard . I dont even know why im here. I dont know what the fuck im doing here. Im a coward guys. Im a fucking coward. Im scared of the term Love . Im scared of the term Commitment. Im scared of the term responsibility . I dont know why i am even standing on the face of this planet if im afraid of love .

Whenever i love someone. Very much, i am very scared if i would hurt that person or myself. I dont know what im doing here. You moved on and i crushed you. See, this is what i hate . But if i move on.. Ill be more scared .. day by day .. moment by moment .. beat my beat . Why must i be like this ? Why must i have bad experiences. Why must i have bad memories.. Why cant i move on ?

Why must everything be so mean? Why is like so mean ? Why must i live like this?
When i stop being afraid? When will i move on ? When will i start to love again ?

Whenever i look at my scars, my bruises, my memories, my experiences, my life, all the hearts i broke.. all the tears i shed.. I hate it.
I hate every single pain.
I hate every single tear .
I hate hurt .

State of confusion.

Today.

2008-08-14T05:49:00.000-07:00

My friedrich book now da JAHANAM

today was.. Fun, interesting, awkward erm .. ya .

Err. Ya .

Im not gonna tell you guys wat happened .

Like seriously .

Anyway .. That was in the Morn . Then ..

Afternoon till evening was just lepaking .

I skipped sch for two days . Got MC eh !

So then .. Yeah .

And For the you-know-who.

I am still not over *cough-ca-cough-ca*

How can she text you bby !

How can you go out with her bby !

So mean seyh you !

nanak fren ah

ehhehehehehhehe ,

But ok la .

Me and the short fat ass heavy freak .

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH

ok back to the story ..

me and .. Em

are getting along quite well .

and im just waiting for the moment she pops up the question .

When i am not ready , she is .

Now that im ready, shes not.

haha.

Weird humans should never live.

I LOVE YOU BBY !

Too Lazy to take all this.

2008-08-12T03:18:00.001-07:00

Im sick and tired of life.

Ini dia.

2008-07-27T04:00:00.001-07:00

Inilah dia. Em. Gamba nk step mane nyer hotstuff je ehhh. hahaaahahahah .

Btw, Great grandad passed away .

Sayang die gyler2

I can still hear his voice calling me .

But he passed on, He told me that he was weak.

I MISSED HIM ALREADY .

Okay.

2008-07-27T03:47:00.000-07:00

Ok.
A thousand thoughts.
One subject .

ok guys. I am an ignorant person if you guys dont know.
I like to ignore things i dun want to here.
Its just something i do.
So dont Come telling me Im a bitch .
Yes, beauty with intelligence but im still not a dog.
Its fun disturbing me but not until you get to my nerves.
Pls la. One favor.
Kutok me all you can But dun kutok me infront of people.
Im saving your ass up here while you go around telling people stuffs about me ?
Like, WTF .
I know i have an attitude problem but i dont need YOU to tell me that .
Out of millions of people. Why you.
Like. Urr.

Be as ignorant as you want .
You are too attached till you dont know how to tell me off?
Well.. i can tell you something..
FUCK OFF LA .

If you really like her, Confront to her la .
Dont tell me you already did .
She said she wants time.
You tell me you hate girls that wants time .
And you hate waiting .
If you hate waiting so much .
Leave her la . there are plenty more sluts out there to sleep with you.
And i bet you one thing . Shes hot but she doesnt give away easily .
Maybe you dont want her for sex .
But hello . You talk about sex infront of me everytime .
She even complaints to me that you keep repeating that you are good on bed infront of her fucking eyes.
Eh Please la. She is not dirty minded.
She is a sweet girl .
Dont ruin her life.
And she comes up to me pissing off telling me that you keep talking about your ex ?
Like.. get a fuckiing life.
i dont like people coming up to people and telling stories about their ex.

MOVE ON LA !
ahhhh .
gasak kau la .

She may be smiling infront of you .
But i be a million dollars that her heart is tore piece by piece.
Let her suffer.
Let her bleed.
Let her be her.

She doesnt like to share her problems until she blows up.
Let her blow up.
Let her la .
Dont keep pestering her .

jgn terase.

2008-07-24T06:19:00.000-07:00

Ok. Mad is not a word to describe wad im feeling right now. If you guess really want to know.. Im paranoid.Im so fucking Irritated y the fact that she dares to ctc her even after a harsh break up. You still apologise. Like, what the fuck sak.Go and kiss ahmeng's dead body's armpit before you dare to try to speak to her like that again . The fact that you broke her heart . The fact that you till dare to enter her lifeFucking irritating sia. I dont mind if i sit with her for an hour or so talking shits out of you. One more thing, Im still so eager to find Your positive side for all these while i know you.I have never heard a positive side of you. Like, Once you break a person's heart .. Dont try to apologise. Dont la . Its fucking annoying. Its more disturbing when you know that she wants to move on. Come on la. Get a fucking life.. Atleast shes taking a step forward bt i seriously pity her because you keep draging her away ,keep pulling her away just when she was about to make the next step.

Im a fourteen year old. I know. Im young. Bt eh.. I think eh .. My brains can function outstandingly. You're 21 and your brain are slower. Like hello Wake up.You dare to speak to her Saying this and that on the phone Or msg .. I think that you are just a pusillanimous bitch . Im sorry .. You aint got the face. You aint got the intellectual abilities to compare your self with a bitch. Atleast bitches like me have brains that i use. All i heard from your pasts was that you were a slut . A wild slut . A slut which goes around for sex.
Pls la.. Atleast aku ade maruah . Bodow.

Eh da la.
Gasak kau la kau nk buat ape
Tapi jgn nk brani uat pape bodow.
0ops sorry.
Da mmg bodow.
ape nk uat kan..
Peace out !

Baby !

2008-07-23T08:40:00.000-07:00

baby . I nk u boleh ?
Bleh lah . Haha .
Ok la guys ..
Im Like.. fucking liking someone .
Margera . wakakaka .
Okey Best !
I like my margera belly belly much ! hehehehehhe .
burn the fats .
Hahahah

Assalamualaikum warrahmatullahiwabarakatu
chak deng2
*tepok sepuloh*
CHAK CHAK !

SICK !

2008-07-01T22:30:00.001-07:00

AHH ! IM SICK !

So like, Yesterday.. i took my temperature.. 38.7

Then, pie doc.. temperature 38.

hahahahahahah .

Ok pe !

Then tak pie sch uh .

Lagypon tk uat art . hahahahahah . Peace out !

btw ! Thnx Yana for the lense ! haahhaha